Kicked Out Of School At 7 - Can My Behaviour Be Managed?
A little boy has just started in my class and as usual he's only been referred when so many others have failed to manage his behaviour and he's at the point of being kicked out of school for good! So much time has been lost and the little boy is confused, frightened and his behaviour is atrocious. If things don't change then the damage will increase as he grows up. I always ask why it's so late in the day when these youngsters are referred - a lot of trauma for everybody could be prevented!
I always sympathise with the child... Many people don't understand this but I see the children as the innocent parties. I see them unhappy, distressed and almost completely negative. I wouldn't want to live like that, would you?
'Why then do children continue their bad behaviour if it results in such a negative experience of life', I'm asked. If they feel bad, then they need to make changes...
Come on, adults, you're just not getting it!! I find their attitude so frustrating. Yes, these children are extremely unhappy, but they can't implement the changes that are needed until adults take a stand and start using behaviour management techniques that actually have an impact. The concept is really simple...
How on earth are little kids supposed to make changes to their behaviour when they've been allowed (and even encouraged by being managed wrongly) to be badly behaved for years? They've forgotten what being well behaved is like!
To grow into confident adolescents and adults children need, and deserve, to learn the proper way to behave by being disciplined in and out of school. Anything less is bordering on neglect. If they don't learn how their world works they have far less chance of succeeding in life.
The little guy who's just come to me attends my classes each morning and goes to his mainstream school every afternoon. He's done ok considering he's been so out of control in school, but they rang on day 2 to tell me that on his return on the first day he was as 'bad as ever'... Not surprising really... Only minor changes will be seen in mainstream until they adopt behaviour management techniques that impact positively on his behaviour. Ok, they'll see some transfer of the more positive behaviour he shows in my classes, but this won't become his norm in mainstream if their behaviour management strategies stay the same as previously.
Although children know when they're behaving badly, if managed ineffectively, they can believe that the behaviour is acceptable to the adults. The bad behaviour soon becomes habitual and their norm - starting in a minor way and quickly escalating into behaviour considered unmanageable. It's a situation where nobody can win - stressed, frustrated and out of control of the situation.
After a trouble free start I can guarantee the new little guy will try and behave in the way he does in school because he won't be able to help it! Let's see how we get on...
I'll work with the school (and home) so they'll learn how to manage his behaviour - they won't find it difficult. They'll receive the same advice that I give all those people I work with and they'll soon be confidently using my behaviour management techniques. Believe me, anyone can do it...
I always sympathise with the child... Many people don't understand this but I see the children as the innocent parties. I see them unhappy, distressed and almost completely negative. I wouldn't want to live like that, would you?
'Why then do children continue their bad behaviour if it results in such a negative experience of life', I'm asked. If they feel bad, then they need to make changes...
Come on, adults, you're just not getting it!! I find their attitude so frustrating. Yes, these children are extremely unhappy, but they can't implement the changes that are needed until adults take a stand and start using behaviour management techniques that actually have an impact. The concept is really simple...
How on earth are little kids supposed to make changes to their behaviour when they've been allowed (and even encouraged by being managed wrongly) to be badly behaved for years? They've forgotten what being well behaved is like!
To grow into confident adolescents and adults children need, and deserve, to learn the proper way to behave by being disciplined in and out of school. Anything less is bordering on neglect. If they don't learn how their world works they have far less chance of succeeding in life.
The little guy who's just come to me attends my classes each morning and goes to his mainstream school every afternoon. He's done ok considering he's been so out of control in school, but they rang on day 2 to tell me that on his return on the first day he was as 'bad as ever'... Not surprising really... Only minor changes will be seen in mainstream until they adopt behaviour management techniques that impact positively on his behaviour. Ok, they'll see some transfer of the more positive behaviour he shows in my classes, but this won't become his norm in mainstream if their behaviour management strategies stay the same as previously.
Although children know when they're behaving badly, if managed ineffectively, they can believe that the behaviour is acceptable to the adults. The bad behaviour soon becomes habitual and their norm - starting in a minor way and quickly escalating into behaviour considered unmanageable. It's a situation where nobody can win - stressed, frustrated and out of control of the situation.
After a trouble free start I can guarantee the new little guy will try and behave in the way he does in school because he won't be able to help it! Let's see how we get on...
I'll work with the school (and home) so they'll learn how to manage his behaviour - they won't find it difficult. They'll receive the same advice that I give all those people I work with and they'll soon be confidently using my behaviour management techniques. Believe me, anyone can do it...
About the Author:
Liz Marsden is a highly respected behaviour management expert who uses her expertise to train teachers, trainee teachers and support assistants to manage children's behaviour. Visit Liz's web site to learn more about her work in her own classroom and mainstream schools. Liz's highly acclaimed book, Behaviour Bible will offer all the guidance you need in classroom management.
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