.::.Easy Clairvoyance.::.

From Cincinnati, a reader asks: Is it possible that those who have died have any emotional needs, like belonging or comfort or just to know someone loves them? Do they hold anger, and what range of emotions can they feel?" Here, 'Afterlife Phil ' shares his insight and answer:

Thanks for your questions about how we feel after we pass away. I think they want to be with us, help us, and guide us. I say this because I've just replied to someone who was almost involved with someone, but never quite developed the relationship, and now feels closer to this person than her actual husband, and she's quite frustrated by it all. But I don't think they want to be in a relationship as we know it. I think it's simply a case of wanting to be with us, or help us.

My advice to anyone dealing with a loss, is to find a purpose in life. And perhaps the person you feel is coming through can help guide you towards that purpose. I know several who have done this, and found much joy and purpose in life, still connected with their special person who has crossed over, but with a purpose for their own lives.

They absolutely have emotion, but I'm not sure it's emotional needs. It's like the end line in the film "Ghost" where Patrick says "The love inside, you take it with you" I feel is so true. I know in readings, it's quite common where there's a strong emotional bond (e.g. partners, or parents) for me to feel totally overwhelmed by their grief (on the other side) and it's not uncommon for me to be in tears not able to adequately share the words, but totally share the feeling, with those sitting in front of me. So whilst I don't feel they "blame" us, they most certainly hold the emotion of love, caring and so on.

I don't generally feel they NEED our acceptance or love, but certainly there are times when they do. My own father-in-law desperately wanted my wife to forgive him for not treating her better (he wasn't bad to her, just didn't accept her and support her as he should have). In suicide cases, I know there is a desperate longing from those who have crossed over, to be forgiven by those they leave behind - like they didn't realise the problems they would leave behind.

The range of emotions they feel? To answer this question, I'll hand over to my guys on 'the other side' who are helping as I write this: "We're comfortable within ourselves (on the other side), but especially for those who have recently crossed, it's like they have so much homework to complete and they need to tick things off the list before they can become calm. Like going to sleep. If there's a whole lot on your mind, you can't rest properly until you've done those things, then you can relax and go to sleep.

If we have a lot to do, a lot to say, it's like when you want to tell a friend lots of things, and they want to hear about something else, but you can't talk about that yet because you HAVE to deal with these other things first". Does that help?

I'll leave out some of my answer that was intended solely for my reader, but she asks about anger. Where there is anger from those who have crossed over, it generally subsides after a while. I rarely find they hold the anger.

Do they have needs we can meet? Acceptance. I think they can TRY to influence us, help us, guide us, but they can't MAKE us do anything, and I think they derive enormous satisfaction that we first of all listen, and secondly accept they're there. The 'asking for proof' that I suggest (on my website afterlifephilg.com) only works for a while, because after a while, you KNOW the difference between your own thoughts and theirs, and it gets tiresome to them to keep proving things - and that shows them you don't accept what they share. I know that annoys them after a while! So I think our greatest gift to them, that they want, long for, perhaps not need, but strongly desire, is an acceptance of them, their actions in the physical world whether they were good or bad, their presence in our lives now, and their willingness to help us where needed.

I think I've already touched on negative feelings, but I think the negativity, as it appears to be present in your case, floats away. Like when you meditate, as you relax, no matter how much 'negative' feeling you have, if you relax long enough, you just give up on that feeling and let it go, so in that sense, I think they probably have those feelings to start with, but let them go.

I hope this helps you, and my readers, have a greater understanding of how to accept and deal with loved ones who have died. For more information visit my website on spirit contact (afterlifephilg.com) and especially have a look at the CD "Contacting The Afterlife".